I have so many things I want to write about, so many things I want to do with my blog…and I just don’t know where to start! So I put it all off. I seriously couldn’t sleep last night because I kept thinking of all the things I wanted to update on here. So many things I want to do different, better. I am quickly learning to take one small step at a time. This works in my weight loss journey as well as other aspects of organizing my life. My first step was to just sit down and write today. The start of the new year brings a new schedule. One that I can actually work with. This excites me as it means I can schedule time for my blog. I can schedule time for my homework. I am scheduling time for my workouts. I have done a workout every day so far since the 2nd. January 1st was a wash since we were traveling. But I have learned a lot in 5 days.
I learned that eating gluten makes me not only feel crappy physically, but it affects me emotionally as well. I ended up eating gluten for about 3 weeks over the holiday and while we were out of town. My emotional state suffered greatly. I constantly felt like crying, or screaming. Since the 2nd of January I am back to being gluten free and now that I have gotten through the first couple days of withdrawal, I am feeling much better. I hate feeling so out of control! That’s why I don’t drink, I can’t stand feeling like I have no control over myself of my emotions. Actually putting this all together is making it much easier for me to stay away from ingesting things that just cause me harm.
As I am getting back into a healthy lifestyle, I am finding so many more things out there that people are doing. I recently read the book Wheat Belly, which is about when I gave up gluten. I was going to anyway because I was sure it was affecting me negatively. But reading the book really opened my eyes to what is happening with our food. I recently saw someone posting about the Whole30, so I ordered that from Amazon. I can’t wait to read that one! I have already known that I need to give up some of the things I eat on a regular basis. It’s just difficult. I have been researching Paleo, vegetarian, vegan, and other various things. Here is what I have come up with. For the month of January I will continue working on gluten free with myself and the family. I am removing a significant portion of wheat out of the house so the kids aren’t exposed to it so much. I eventually want to do a 30 day trial and take them completely off of it, but the hubby has no desire to do that. I cannot convince him otherwise . If gluten affects me so poorly, and I am sure my middle child is negatively affected by sugar and probably gluten, I want to prove it. So my goal is to get there by Feb or March. I will have to see if her preschool will work with me and make sure her snacks are gluten free. In February I will eliminate dairy. This is going to be the most difficult one for me. However, after reading at the Whole30 site, I can no longer say that it will be hard. Something written there really struck home with me:
It is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Quitting heroin is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. You won’t get any coddling, and you won’t get any sympathy for your “struggles”. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE not to complete the program as written. It’s only thirty days, and it’s for the most important health cause on earth – the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime.
So often I think I can’t do something. Or that something is just simply too hard. But the thing is, it really isn’t. We make it hard. We mentally make it bigger than it is. We have been trained that food is emotional. It’s not. Food is fuel. That’s it. When we cut that emotional connection to food, this will get so much easier. Sure it’s good to eat things that taste good, but the most important thing is that it fuels our body properly. All day long we do things we don’t want to: laundry, cleaning, working, or whatever it is you do that is a responsibility that you don’t really like, but have to do in order to survive. My kids always say, but I don’t WANT to. Well I don’t want to either, but I have to. Why is it so different with food? My body runs better when I fuel it with real food, not processed garbage. But I don’t WANT to eat the real food. Well, if I want my body to be healthy, I have to. There are so many instances in life that we do things we don’t really want to. Fueling our bodies properly shouldn’t have to be one of them. It is possible to learn to like foods that you previously didn’t. I now eat brussel sprouts, asparagus, squash, and all sorts of other things I wouldn’t touch just a few years ago. And I LIKE them. I prefer my coffee with cream and sugar (or a flavored cream). I can drink it black. I just don’t WANT to. My body needs me to. And here’s the part that is probably the hardest thing to grasp: what I eat does not dictate my happiness! I am learning to find joy elsewhere, not in my food. This is not a diet. This is a lifestyle. I am making the changes as I go, as I am ready.
So for the next few months I am trying new recipes, new tastes, new foods. I am going to make the changes. I have been working out (that’s for another post as this one is getting long) and will continue to. I am tracking my calories, not so that I am sure to stay under a certain amount, but to make sure I am in fact eating enough. I want to make sure I am getting the nutrients I need. But the most important part of this? I am having fun!