I never seem to be able to actually post on the day that I weigh in. I need to work on that. This post has good news, bad news, and good news. So we’ll start with some good news first. My weigh in on Wednesday:
Previous Weight: 181
Today’s Weight: 177.6
Weekly Loss: 3.4
That’s another great loss! Partially from being sick over last weekend, but it was still a loss. So there’s my first bit of good news. So here comes the bad news. Valentine’s Day was a huge source of frustration for me. I weigh myself daily (for those of you that have been with me for awhile know this already, and I do have my reasons for this) and until now it has never been an issue. I accept my daily fluctuations. I get that my weight won’t steadily decrease every day. Yet this time I find myself frustrated that the scale bounces up and down. I go up a pound, down a pound. And overall I am losing. I mean, I lost 3.4 pounds last week, right?!? For some reason it’s not enough. The numbers I am losing is fine, but the constant knowledge of my weight is starting to grate on me. So much so that on Valentine’s Day I was furious. For all the wrong reasons. Even though I feel different, I look different, and I do actually weigh less I was frustrated. Like, beyond reasoning, frustrated. I didn’t want to eat eggs for breakfast. I wanted cereal. I rationalized…well technically my Whole30 is over, I can start the reintroduction process. But that’s just dairy, and I want cereal. My daughter had picked out one of my favorite cereals and there it sat on the kitchen table. I circled it all morning. Debating the pros and cons in my head. I guess the fact that I even debated not eating it is a success, right? I finally caved. I’m not even sure if that’s the right word. But I did. I had bowl of cereal. It was sweet. The milk hurt my stomach. I remembered why I don’t eat cereal anymore (cereal has always been my go-to comfort food). I decided I was going to eat Whole30 compliant the rest of the day.
Fast forward two hours later and we are making brownies. My husband came home for lunch, and I couldn’t wait for him to leave so I could taste one. I didn’t want to eat it in front of him. But I desperately wanted the chocolate. I won’t say I gorged myself on treats, but I will say that I had more than my fair share. I ate a great, healthy lunch and then had desserts. But rather than scarf them down like I would previously, I savored them. I allowed myself to enjoy the experience of eating it. And I allowed myself to taste the flavors. Everything was ultra sweet. I felt sick, but not because I ate too much but because of the crap. It was all crap. So at this point I made a decision. I knew that if I finished my day whole30 compliant, I would have a hard time starting again the next day. I needed the day to experiment. So I did. I told my husband to order pizza for dinner. And again I allowed myself to really experience the food. It was awesome! Of course, pizza is one of those things that I will always love. But here’s the good news in all of this. I learned how to understand my body. I know I could have eaten more, but when I was satisfied I quit eating. I didn’t eat until stuffed. I ate until satisfied. HUGE difference. I had also planned on going all out and getting ice cream that night. When it came time to go get it, I chose not to. My body didn’t want it, and I listened!
That’s huge. Even though I had a day of eating garbage, I needed it. I needed to remember to some extent that this stuff makes me feel gross. I needed to be reminded that there is a reason I choose to eat healthy. I feel like I truly understand myself better now. My body has figured out how it’s supposed to work and when I tried to go back it said no thanks! Some people may think I gave in, or gave up that day. In some ways, maybe I did. I have been “perfect” with my eating since January 2nd. I went 34 days without a singe cheat. My body actually needed a day off. My brain needed a day off. And what’s funny is my body now doesn’t crave that. My mind does of course. I smell those brownies or see them on the counter. I am slightly tempted, but I am honoring my body by not eating them. I am sure that I will need the reminder again, but I am hoping it will be to a much smaller extent. I know it’s the Whole30 not the Whole365 for a reason. I am not perfect, nor do I need to be. Yet this one day has reignited my reasons for eating Paleo. I love how I feel, and I know it’s what my body needs to function properly. I will continue to honor my body for another Whole30. I look forward to seeing how many more results I get this second time. I know 1 day in between isn’t much, but for me it made a huge impression.
February 16th, 2013 at 1:36 pm
Your post makes me really want to try Whole30, but as a PhD student I am not sure I could manage all my workshops/writing/meetings without caffeine and when I'm on campus I don't have access to a fridge or good options for food. Perhaps in late spring/summer when I don't need to be on campus as much I can give it a try.
February 16th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
It is so totally worth it! Oh, and before Whole30 I drank TONS of coffee to stay awake. As in a pot of coffee to myself. Now? I drink 1 cup of coffee a day, only because I enjoy drinking coffee. I no longer need it to stay awake. My body naturally has more energy. I really didn't think it was possible, but after experiencing it I am continually amazed at how my body functions so amazingly well when it's fueled properly. I cannot say enough good things about the Whole30. And my workouts have become awesome. I not only feel stronger, but I AM stronger! So if you can't do it now, definitely plan on doing it when you can. It definitely takes preparation, but totally worth it! Oh, and caffeine isn't off limits, you just naturally will need less.
February 17th, 2013 at 1:14 pm
I'm glad you bounced back from that day. Your Whole30 experience has motivated me to go mostly paleo.
February 17th, 2013 at 4:26 pm
Thanks! I so love hearing that people are inspired to eat this way! My mother in law and father in law started their Whole30 last week. I have two other friends that are starting theirs now as well. Just wish my husband would go for it…but he is eating mostly paleo these days and you can tell a huge difference. He has really leaned out. I am now back on track (Day 3) on my second Whole30.
February 17th, 2013 at 7:58 pm
That's kind of the experience I had after Whole30, except I haven't made my way back yet. I did experience the "I ate that junk and now I feel really gross" part, which does help to clue you in to how the bad stuff if actually bad for you.
I'm glad you used the experience to propel you forward to better health.
February 19th, 2013 at 9:19 pm
It has actually been easier this time as I know what to expect now. I just feel so much better this way.